Varying Degrees of Difficulty.

There are some current hiring processes that should perhaps be considered as models for firearm ownership applications as well.

Please apply through our website, which was first set up in 2008 using Joomla and has been updated once or twice since then.

Please upload your resumé. This upload may take upwards of two minutes to complete. Please also fill out the same information in each of these individual fields that occasionally require user-unfriendly dropdown selections. This online application is 15 screens long and you must Save and Continue at the bottom of each page. If you leave the page idle for longer than an hour you will be logged out and any unsaved information will be lost.

Please include a detailed cover letter explaining your fitness for the role of firearm owner. This cover letter cannot be uploaded. It must instead be typed into a 4×5-inch box that uses unformatted plain text with no options to bold or italicize. If you press the Enter or Return key to include a line break the cover letter will be locked and you will have to go back into the application if you wish to edit it. This may or may not cause the text of the cover letter to vanish.

Please provide three references, all of whom must be spoken to before your application is considered. You must agree to a federal background check and a drug test.

Submit this application and wait. Do not contact us about the status of your application as this may cause us to disregard your application.

After an undefined period of time and at a moment inconvenient to you, you will be called to set up a phone interview with a contracted associate whose only job is to ask you preliminary qualifying questions. Plan the date and time for the interview. Reschedule at least twice.

Sit down for a half-hour phone call with the associate and answer each question perfectly. Receive an emailed assignment that you are required to return within 48 hours. Complete this assignment perfectly, send it back, and wait.

After an undefined period of time and at a moment inconvenient to you, you will be called about an interview with a panel of sales representatives. You will be given an interview time that you must make work within your existing schedule regardless of other commitments.

Arrive at the interview dressed in a manner that indicates you are taking the application process very seriously indeed. Sit for an hour with the panel of three sales representatives, one of whom never asks you any questions but who either stares directly through you with cold, bored eyes or looks down at his phone as if you can’t see him do it. Answer the questions of the other two panelists perfectly as they interrogate you about the materials you turned in weeks ago.

After an undefined period of time and at a moment inconvenient to you, you will be called about an all-day interview with several different people in succession. Sit with each of them for half an hour and answer their questions perfectly, some of which are questions you’ve answered several times before but the notes from each of your previous interviews either never circulated or were circulated but were largely ignored.

Go home. Wait. Get a phone call from a person who works with the person who conducted your first interview who lets you know that they’re having trouble getting a response from one of your references, so can you please provide another reference.

Months have gone by. You barely recall why you were so interested in purchasing this firearm or why you agreed to jump through so many hoops for it. When the rejection finally comes, you ask yourself if it was ever worth this much time and effort.