Creative Control

Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist

Mantra or Astro-Mantra?

A very short piece of mine is going to be produced as a part of Artistic Home Theatre’s annual “Cut to the Chase” festival at the beginning of July. This is Very Big News, as Artistic Home is a known, established commodity in the large Chicago theatrical community, and it helps that my name has been dropped all around town as a writer and occasional actor, so perhaps I can make even better connections than the ones I already have, including the one with the friend/director who will be doing this show. [1]

At the same time, I receive a NY Times article discussing the burgeoning Chicago theatrical community, and it makes me want to fight even harder to join it, to hear such luminaries as veteran Chicago actor Mike Nussbaum talk about it.

At the same time, I find a website I had previously overlooked, offering regularly updated script-submission calls. Suddenly, I have more outlets than I know what to do with.

But. At the same time. Today finds me in a Deep Blue Funk, unable to conjure the motivation to finish any more than is absolutely required of me by my job, so I’m not writing. I have the energy and drive to pull myself up out of the hole, but I cannot unfortunately figure out where to start climbing.

The trip to the Wild Wolf River was fun, if a lot less raftastic than it was last year–we took only one short trip, as a means of not catching hypothermia in the cold, rainy conditions. Of course, the day we left, the weather was sunny and 70. This is what I get for occasional blasphemy. But it was good to spend as much time in good company far away from home as I did. I played several good games of billiards in the inn tavern, including a few where I went on unstoppable runs, ate well–ate TOO well, to be honest–and generally commiserated in the wilderness of Wisconsin. I played two games of Hearts, including one in which the improbable occurrence of somebody Shooting The Moon (taking every point possible, according to Hoyle) happened not only once, but twice in successive deals, and then a third time in the same game. Caution came back from the wind for the second game.

Have found that nothing brings people together like unloading round after round of virtual assault rifle fire into warlike evil alien creatures. Donna and I have been playing HALO almost nonstop the past few days, and we’re so close to the end of the game we can taste it. Between HALO, she, I, and her roommates have been loading up HUNTER: THE RECKONING, sort of like a cross between RESIDENT EVIL and GAUNTLET. The sort of game that not only gets more fun with all four players in, but in fact seems tedious and boring as a one-player game. Still keeping my eyes on getting a PS2 by next paycheck (next Thursday).

My sister is feeling alone, and while on the one hand getting together with her has become an ordeal as difficult and undependable as rodeo clown work, I do understand that I should spend more time with her. And I want to, but I’m being a bit stubborn because I don’t think it’s fair that everything should remain on her terms, lest she become surly and bitter. I’m not sure what I can do, I’m not sure how much drama I can take at this moment. In a few days, maybe even a few hours, I can get back to drama dealing, just not now.

Something will work itself out. This is my own version of the Yiddish mantra, “This too shall pass,” I thing. A mantra is a good thing.

[1] Friend/director is the same woman who was eventually kicked out of the Project, but who I’ve maintained my friendship and professional ties with–clearly, this was a good idea. Two more people who came to the group in recent weeks, a writer who worked on 24/7 and his actress girlfriend, have recently been rejected on the advice of the Artistic Director; in part, it should be noted, because he wasn’t quite a fit for the group dynamic thus far. I do, however, want to try and remain in contact with the guy, I think he’s very talented and he does have interesting insights. I decided last week that my social philosophy fights tenaciously against the burning of bridges, and I certainly don’t like having those bridges burned for me (unfortunately, the rejection amounts to that). Likely, he may tell me to fuck off, but oh well, at least I tried.

Current music: XTC, “Oranges and Lemons”

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This entry was posted on May 28, 2002 by in Games, Theatre, Vacation, Writing.
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