Gone in 60 Seconds (2013).
Chicago’s 3rd Annual One-Minute Play Festival took place at Victory Gardens this past June 17-18. Both nights were streamed via the New Play Network’s New Play TV. Item of note: This year’s Chicago festival included the work of five Neo-Futurist active ensemble and alumni, including myself, Lily Mooney, Andy Bayiates, Rachel Claff, and a finale by Greg Kotis. Represent!
Small Game was directed by Scott Weinstein; Last Laughter Lasts After was directed by Lavina Jadhwani. As usual, the event was curated by Dominic D’Andrea.
(If you’re interested, you can read the two plays I wrote for last year’s festival here, and the three I wrote for the prior year’s Festival here.)
* * *
Small Game
JEFFERSON
HYDE
ALBANY
ROGERS
The four sit around a metal bowl. All are wearing white latex gloves and have notepads.
JEFFERSON
Whose turn is it?
HYDE
I was last.
ALBANY
I’ll go. (Holds up a small metal slug.) 9 millimeter, from a convenience store stickup, 38 year-old father of two. (Tosses the slug into the bowl.) A shame.
ALL
(scribbling in their notepads) A fucking shame.
ROGERS
(holds up two metal slugs) Forty-fives, late afternoon drive-by. One off a brick wall, the other through some woman walking her dog. (Tosses the slugs into the bowl.) A shame.
ALL
(scribbling in their notepads) Fucking shame.
JEFFERSON
(holds up a metal slug) Three fifty-seven. Six year-old girl. Safety was off. (Tosses the slug into the bowl.) A shame.
ALL
(scribbling in their notepads) Fucking shame.
HYDE
(holds up a small metal slug) Twelve-gauge—
ROGERS
(interrupting, marking notepad) —oh hey. Hey. Bingo.
End of Play
* * *
Last Laughter Lasts After
DENNIS
LAUREN
Adult siblings.
The late hours of the wake. DENNIS holds a half-finished beer, LAUREN a cup of coffee. They speak to the audience.
DENNIS
Look, if nobody else is gonna say it I’m gonna.
LAUREN
He was a son of a bitch.
DENNIS
That. Yes.
LAUREN
Ice-hearted. Miserable.
DENNIS
Puppy-kicking. Literally. As in I actually once saw him kick a puppy.
LAUREN
And you know he cheated on Mom, right?
DENNIS
Like he tried to hide it? (He takes a swig.) And the bigotry.
LAUREN
God, the bigotry.
DENNIS
I’ll tell you something.
LAUREN
I know what you’re going to say.
DENNIS
No let me tell you. I hope it was the Irish that did it. I hope it was the Irish Republican Army. The Shin Whatever.
LAUREN
Sinn Fein?
DENNIS
Them. Yes.
LAUREN
I don’t think they do that anymore. I think they’re a political party now.
DENNIS
Then Americans. Some Aryan Christ-thumping Fox News zombies. The Church of Jesus Hates Everybody But Us.
LAUREN
Or some bored white-bread teenage loser.
DENNIS
As long as it wasn’t—
LAUREN
—no, right. Agreed.
DENNIS
Because I’d hate to think; I’d hate to think wherever he is now.
LAUREN
That he’s going to spend eternity thinking he was right all along.
DENNIS
Exactly. God, that would be the worst. The absolute worst.
End of Play
Creative Control 