My audition is less than 48 hours away and I think I’ve only just now figured out my audition piece, and I’ve gone through about ten different ideas in the past seven days. I’ve almost got the props together for it, and I’m hoping that what I think is surreal and simple will not come across as simply uninteresting and incoherent.

The piece is titled “Bad Dating Strategies, 1995-99.” To sum up the piece in one sentence, I can say that it involves me slapping gradually larger hearts onto my chest, each labeled “Say something” except for the last, which says “Or not,” to the first minute and forty-five seconds of an Aimee Mann song–while my mouth is overfilled with spray whip cream.

I’m reminded of the absurd laughter elicited by John Cusack’s summary line in “Being John Malkovich,” where he tells Catherine Keener that he’s found a door that places you inside the head of John Malkovich, and after about fifteen minutes it deposits you at the side of the New Jersey turnpike.

I don’t know. On an almost hour by hour basis, I think the piece is good, and then I think it’s terrible. It’s silly, but so are many of the NF’s plays.

A third, harrowing idea occurred to me awhile back, which was that maybe, instead of my original thought that the NFs had cast somebody last time, and they flaked, maybe they didn’t cast ANYBODY. Maybe nobody they got was worthy of their ensemble last time, which is why they’re fishing again. And I haven’t added an incredible amount of experience to my resume since November. Yeeee.

Freakin.

Current music: Aimee Mann, “Ultimate Collection” [1]

[1] I bought this CD on impulse, almost as part of the momentum, when I bought the John Mayer. Later, I discovered that this CD is not an authorized Aimee Mann collection, which doesn’t make the songs any lesser, but means that she’s not receiving profits from it. I’m a little annoyed with myself for being duped as such.