Creative Control

Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist

Explaining bidder blockage to your children.

Curious Bald Eagle

Once there was a Little Bald Eagle. She woke up one morning and decided that she wanted to invade a country.

“Who will help me sow the propaganda?” she asked the other animals.

“Not I,” said the Frog. “I do not agree that this is a correct course of action.”

“Not I,” said the Dachshund. “This prospect makes me uncomfortable.”

“Not I,” said the Moose. “This seems wrongheaded.”

So the Little Bald Eagle sowed the propaganda by herself.

“Who will help me harvest international support for this operation?” asked the Eagle.

“Not I,” said the Frog. “I cannot support this.”

“Not I,” said the Dachschund. “I disagree with pre-emptive war.”

“Not I,” said the Moose. “You have not presented sufficient evidence to justify an invasion.”

“I will,” said the Fox. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a good course of empire.”

So the Eagle and Fox harvested a makeshift coalition by themselves.

“Who will help us invade the country?” asked the Eagle and Fox.

“Not us,” said the Frog, Dachshund, Moose, and a host of other animals that didn’t as easily represent world nations.

So the Fox, Eagle, and their coalition had to invade and occupy the nation more or less unilaterally.

“Who will help us reconstruct the nation we just beat the hell out of?” asked the Eagle and Fox.

“We will!” shouted the Frog, Dachshund, and Moose enthusiastically.

But the Eagle and Fox shook their heads.

“We sowed the propaganda and deceit, we collected the troops and firepower for the operation, and we invaded the country without your help,” they said. “Therefore, only we will be allowed the dubious yet lucrative contracts to reconstruct this nation as we see fit.”

And behind them, the occupied nation erupted in domestic strife and violence.

The moral of this story: If you didn’t break it, you don’t get to fix it.

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This entry was posted on December 11, 2003 by in Fiction, Politics, Satire.
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