Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist
I have just finished writing Contraption.
First rehearsal for this show is nineteen hours from now. Much, much closer than I would have liked, but not completely out of character for a Neo-Futurist production, and I’m sure that everybody involved is willing to roll with the process of putting this thing up in our typically ragtag fashion.
There will likely be a rewrite here and there before the end of December, but the script is as complete as it has ever been, having been rewritten in the middle of drafts ad infinitum up until now.
I don’t think I can possibly jinx myself by saying that the hardest part is now over. I am aware that putting the show up is going to be an incredible challenge, but I doubt I’ll feel nearly as emotionally wrecked by the next two months as I have felt over the past three.
I still don’t know if I could see myself doing this particular sort of project again. I’m only 95% certain, right now, that I won’t throw in the towel completely, as I felt I could and should have done sometime in mid-October, when the doubt and depression became hungry and overwhelming. I still have that five-percent feeling that this might have finished me, that this project is the end of me as any sort of theatrical artist. I’m hoping that its stock is dwindling, but I’ll know more after January 24th.
I don’t know if it’s the best show I could have written based on the idea I’d had in the first place. But I do think it’s the best show I could have written for where I am as a human being. That’s going to have to be good enough for now.