Gone in 60 Seconds (2017).
Below are the plays from my sixth year of writing for the Chicago One-Minute Play Festival, occurring this year at The Den Theatre under the curation of Dominic D’Andrea and Caitlin Wees.
Cremating the Lede was directed by Andrew Peters and Current Limiter by Jess Hutchinson. These are the original, uncut scripts; both had cuts made to them in production either for purposes of time or other directorial decision.
My complete collection of these plays can be read here.
Cremating the Lede
STEVENS, a newspaper editor
HUDSON, a young journalist
BYSTANDER, a panicked witness
STEVENS and HUDSON sit facing each other in an outdoor café, holding paper cups of coffee. STEVENS hands HUDSON a leather-bound portfolio.
STEVENS
It’s an impressive portfolio, kid.
HUDSON
Thank you.
STEVENS
You’ve got a good ear for this. An excellent grasp on perspective. So, tell me. Why do you want to join our newsroom?
HUDSON
Who wouldn’t?
STEVENS
Don’t do that. Why do you, specifically, want to join our newsroom, specifically? What made you want to bring your voice to us?
HUDSON
(after a beat)
Well, to me, journalism is the act of—
A sudden chaos and tumult offstage. People screaming in confusion and terror. STEVENS and HUDSON jump up from their seats and look off in the direction of the noise. Several people run past, panic-stricken. BYSTANDER is one of these; HUDSON stops them.
HUDSON
What’s…?
BYSTANDER
Three men. Machine guns. Get out of here.
BYSTANDER runs off. STEVENS and HUDSON look at each other.
STEVENS
All right. Here we go. I want five words about this on my desk within the hour.
HUDSON
Don’t you mean…?
STEVENS
What?
HUDSON
Five hundred? You said five words; don’t you mean five hundred?
STEVENS
Nobody’s going to read past the headline, kid. Get going.
HUDSON runs off in the direction of the incident. STEVENS watches them go.
End of Play
***
Current Limiter
POWER STRIP, a central hub
PLUG ONE
PLUG TWO
PLUG THREE
POWER STRIP sits in a central location, holding a surge suppressor bar with several unused outlets. The end of the cord for the bar rests beneath them, or in a pocket or inside other clothing. PLUG ONE enters from one side of the stage, holding a length of extension cord. They get very close to POWER STRIP before the cord pulls back—they need POWER STRIP to come to them in order to reach it. POWER STRIP considers them.
PLUG ONE
Could you please?
POWER STRIP
What does it do?
PLUG ONE
It cures cancer.
POWER STRIP
I’ll think about it.
PLUG ONE
It cures cancer.
POWER STRIP
I’ll think about it.
PLUG TWO enters from an alternate location. They are also just short of reaching POWER STRIP.
PLUG TWO
Might I?
POWER STRIP
What does it do?
PLUG TWO
It ends war.
POWER STRIP
I’ll consider it.
PLUG TWO
You have six empty sockets.
POWER STRIP
Yes, I do, don’t I.
PLUG ONE and PLUG TWO look at each other with competition in their eyes. PLUG THREE enters during their exchange, also just shy of reaching POWER STRIP.
PLUG ONE
It grows crops.
PLUG TWO
It nurtures children.
PLUG ONE
It explores the cosmos.
PLUG TWO
It provides limitless clean energy.
PLUG ONE
It grants immortality!
PLUG TWO
It makes your immortal life worth living!
PLUG THREE
Excuse me?
POWER STRIP
What does it do?
PLUG THREE
It makes you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.
POWER STRIP
(stands and takes the steps toward PLUG THREE)
I’ll take six.
End of Play
Creative Control 