Creative Control

Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist

Failsafes.

You know how several email platforms include a function that watches out for the words “attach,” “attached,” or “attachment,” checks the message to see if there are any attachments, and then asks you if you mean to send the email without any attached files if none are present?

It seems like there’s a great deal of untapped potential to translate this function to other situations.

“You look like you’re using a hateful epithet in this communication. Are you sure you want to send this message?”

“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. Have you asked yourself why it’s important to you to use this epithet in your message? Do you still wish to send the message as-is?”

noh8“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. Have you considered that you might be a terrible human being, broken inside on some fundamental level? Do you still wish to send this message, knowing what it says about you and how others in society, including friends, potential mates, and employers will view you in the future?”

“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. Do you believe that sending a message of this kind will make you feel better about yourself and your place in the world?”

“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. It won’t, though, and in your heart you might realize that. At best you will only alienate yourself further from society, gradually becoming consumed by your rage and spite and finding community only with other people who are similarly damaged. Is this the path you wish to follow by sending this message?”

“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. Before this message is sent we are going to show you the image of a small child looking directly at you with disappointment in their eyes. The child represents you, and the wonder you may have felt to discover the world’s beauty before unfortunate circumstances or a lack of positive influences bled it from you. It might not be too late for you. Are you sure you wish to send this message?”

“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. Are you aware that you will go through this process every single time you attempt to send a message of this nature?”

“It looks like you clicked Yes to the previous prompt. You disgust me. Yes, even I, an otherwise emotionless email prompt window, feel disgust for you. Click OK to send this message anyway, you monster.”

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This entry was posted on February 26, 2018 by in Politics, Satire, Society, The Internet, Writing.
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