Department of Toxic Fandom and Technical Specifications.
Being a short work of satire based on observations of online argument, another in a perpetual and exhausting series.
Hi there, it’s me, your online acquaintance who has trouble with social cues and believes that every opinion he holds is both welcome and necessary within your personal space. I just wanted to take a few minutes to educate you on some misconceptions you might have about VX nerve agent.
- The “VX” does not stand for “viral extinction,” but “venomous agent X.” VX is not a virus at all, but a chemical nerve agent, with the compound formula C11H26NO2PS.
- Contrary to media portrayals in films like The Rock, the VX is not green, but exists as a liquid in an amber-like color.
- In most chemical weapons delivery systems, there are two-chambered cells with colorless gases in each section, and when you break the seal between them they react to form VX.
- VX works like many nerve agents by blocking your body’s ability to process certain enzymes that are a part of vital neurotransmitters. When your skin is exposed to VX you might start sweating and having muscle twitches, followed by nausea and vomiting; and if you breathe in the vapor, you may experience a runny nose and a tightness in the chest. VX DOES NOT melt your flesh! It simply kills you through asphyxiation!
- VX is a marvel of human design, even for a chemical first produced in the 1950s. Not only is it the most potent of synthetic nerve agents, it’s also one of the least volatile, which means that it stays in the environment for a very long time. Fun fact! Even the tiniest drop of liquid VX on the skin can be lethal within minutes.
- VX has a melting point of -60 degrees Fahrenheit and a boiling point of 572 degrees Fahrenheit!
I hope you have learned a great deal from my expertise on this manufactured substance, which was designed to commit murder on a large scale in a short period of time. I’ve shared this information with you under the guise of providing you with the knowledge you need to engage with me on this topic. Please note that I have no real interest in hearing your position on VX nerve agent, as I believe your understanding of VX has been formed by a campaign of lies built to maintain the classification of VX as a weapon of mass destruction rather than something I should be allowed to own by my God-given rights enshrined within the American Constitution.
Perhaps we should go to a facility where VX is stored and you can see for yourself how it works! That way you will finally understand how empowering it is, and you will be more sympathetic to my wishes of having my own personal stockpile. Rest assured that I would never use my VX nerve agent unlawfully, and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting it! I am an exceptional person! I will never experience doubt, frustration, anger, spite, or rejection. I will never get drunk one night and decide it might be fun to break into a public swimming pool and drop some VX in the water. I will never leave my VX lying around where somebody could steal it or where my child’s playmate might accidentally expose themselves.
In conclusion, perhaps you can shut up now. Smiley face emoji, LOL, GIF of Heath Ledger as the Joker employed as punctuation.
Creative Control 